I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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