she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize