"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
So I just went to clothing optional bar
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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