god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
