I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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