I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize