He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
even my farts smell like vagina
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Randomize
