I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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