I'm sorry my penis didn't work
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
