She announced her abortion via fbk
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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