i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
