She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
