dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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