Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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