you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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