all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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