we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
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