can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Randomize
