I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
