he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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