2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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