i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
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