this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
The best revenge is premature balding
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
