Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
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Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
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To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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