At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Randomize
