i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
