She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
