I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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