Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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