Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
