Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
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