I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize