Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
