He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
