She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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