..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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