She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize