i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
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