I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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