Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
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I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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