You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
