Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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