think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
