I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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