my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
