you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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