i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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