:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
