What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
