just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
