Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Randomize
