Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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