the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
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