is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
