i think my tv is drunk
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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