so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
