Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
