When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
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you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
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