Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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