Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
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