Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Randomize
