I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Randomize