so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
