Can Purell be used as lube?
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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