Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
