Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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