Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
You ever have a fart follow you around?
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