tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
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