That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I want to be your penis for a week.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
