The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Randomize
