I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
