I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
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In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
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I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
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