Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
