when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
